Attention Deficit David

Al-semitic Airlines

So I just got this email from Alitalia. First of all, it's really fucking creepy that an airline I've never flown is wishing me a happy new year. It would actually be odd if they wished me anything even if I had flown them before. But really, how is an airline making the conclusion that I'm a Jew?

My cousin figured this one out—I used to order kosher meals on Continental because their regular cheesburger meals suck ass, and the kosher meal is guaranteed to not be a cheeseburger.

Alitalia is a codeshare partner of Continental, so they must keep track of who orders the kosher meals.

I think that's a bit fucked up.

That's going to be one hell of an impressive connection

In July of 1997 my father shot himself, and died. This, while complete with its own issues, does give me a tad more free time on Father's Day than most people have.

In that context, imagine my surprise when I got this email advertisement today

Catch up with Dad for as little as 3.9¢ a minute!

Net2Phone Direct makes it easy to connect with Dad this Father's Day at great, low rates!

So this June 18, remember to use Net2Phone Direct and say "Happy Father's Day" for less!

Sweet holy hell! I can reach my dad in the (pick one) Sweet Glory Land of God's Right Hand/Firey Abyss Into Which He Shall Spend All Eternity for only 3.9¢ a minute. That means that I can be lectured about the evils of the democratic party, the degree to which I, personally, as a human am a terrible insult to both my dad and the Universe in general, and pick up a diatribe on the role of Mahayana Buddhism from the Great Beyond for just pennies a minute.

You can not know how happy about this I am.