Attention Deficit David

Damn nature, yo scary

I was outside admiring the array of flora and fauna on display this fine global warming inspired spring day and my eye happened to alight upon the forms of two bumblebees grappling mid flight in the act of copulation and reproduction. Somehow their bodies managed to form a graceful arc up toward the sky, my eye still able to see them flapping as they reached treetop, my ears still attuned to the glorious buzzing of their wings.

Glory be to God for all things in his kingdom are right and good and OH MY GOD A BLUEJAY JUST ATE THEM.

If a coup falls in the forrest...

So thanks to a PRI show (on one of two radio stations my car picks up here in Hawaii, what the hell?) I found out today that there was a huge power struggle in Canada this week. Check out this line from The Star

Jean's decision casts in doubt the viability of the opposition coalition that had united to topple the Conservatives. In a rare show of force earlier this week, the Liberals and NDP signed a document agreeing to form a coalition to govern the nation, with the support of the Bloc Quebecois.

I'm sorry, that sounds a lot like a coup to me. An opposition coalition is joining forces with the French Separatist movement to take over the government? Did anyone know that America's Hat is having a rebellion? What's this all ah-bout?

Also, if you're interested in seeing what's probably the worst video made by a party leader ever (what's with the bookshelf, and the crappy-ass quality? Are you in hiding?) check this out. Be prepared to make fun of Quebecois accents. About half way through he starts to stumble over his words, and they didn't edit it at all. I can't imagine what the first take sounded like.

http://www.thestar.com/fpLarge/video/548264

Even better, this grade-school quality video caused even more of a stir when it was delivered to the network late, only in English, and in the wrong format. Anchors had to ad-lib for thirty minutes waiting for the tape. The timeline of this is here.

Dear Canada - You don't get to make fun of our democracy any more.

Al-semitic Airlines

So I just got this email from Alitalia. First of all, it's really fucking creepy that an airline I've never flown is wishing me a happy new year. It would actually be odd if they wished me anything even if I had flown them before. But really, how is an airline making the conclusion that I'm a Jew?

My cousin figured this one out—I used to order kosher meals on Continental because their regular cheesburger meals suck ass, and the kosher meal is guaranteed to not be a cheeseburger.

Alitalia is a codeshare partner of Continental, so they must keep track of who orders the kosher meals.

I think that's a bit fucked up.

That's going to be one hell of an impressive connection

In July of 1997 my father shot himself, and died. This, while complete with its own issues, does give me a tad more free time on Father's Day than most people have.

In that context, imagine my surprise when I got this email advertisement today

Catch up with Dad for as little as 3.9¢ a minute!

Net2Phone Direct makes it easy to connect with Dad this Father's Day at great, low rates!

So this June 18, remember to use Net2Phone Direct and say "Happy Father's Day" for less!

Sweet holy hell! I can reach my dad in the (pick one) Sweet Glory Land of God's Right Hand/Firey Abyss Into Which He Shall Spend All Eternity for only 3.9¢ a minute. That means that I can be lectured about the evils of the democratic party, the degree to which I, personally, as a human am a terrible insult to both my dad and the Universe in general, and pick up a diatribe on the role of Mahayana Buddhism from the Great Beyond for just pennies a minute.

You can not know how happy about this I am.