Attention Deficit David

Peace out man

Peace out man, originally uploaded by davidjschloss.

Jackson on high

Jackson on high, originally uploaded by davidjschloss.

My own little prohibition

One of the neat things about our kitchen renovation was that we were able to take our old fridge and stick it out in the garage. The 18 extra cubic feet provided some nice overflow space, since the fridge in our kitchen for various reasons isn't as wide as we'd have liked it to have been.

Neatness turned to tragedy when some recent movement in our garage left the fridge without power for some, oh I dunno, let's say a month. Remember those pictures of people in Louisiana after the floods, pulling things from their toxic refrigerators? Welcome to Hart Place.

Mostly the fridge was stocked with beer, glorious beers from all corners of the world (well, mostly from the local distributor) but there was also some (formerly) frozen chicken, veggie patties, a half of a Cold Stone cake and some other items I can no longer identify. All of which was sitting in various kinds of molds.

Now, having a father who was preparing for the end of the world can come in handy sometimes, and today was such a day, as I donned a 1980's Army-issue gas mask, and tackled the fridge. It's not an exaggeration to say (based on my brief olfactory investigation when I was complete) that I'd have died had I not been wearing that mask. Sure, one can look a bit odd going all Clockwork Orange in the garage but it's better than passing out and letting the mold slowly grow over me.

Some things I learned: bottles of sealed foodstuff are not quite as sealed as we all might think. Several containers of things like marinades had considerably more mold around the screw-thread area of the container. The beer was of course almost completely mold free, although I can't say the same for the paper six-pack packages.

Regardless of the degrees of mold, I cracked open and disposed of all the bottles of beer. Probably fifty bottles of beer went down the drain. Sure, I could possibly have saved them by soaking them in bleach-water, but really, do you want your last words to be "the beer, it has toxic...mold". I really really threw out a lot of beer today, and I just kept repeating lines from the Untouchables to myself. (One of them comes at you with mold, you come at them with flesh-eating bacteria...that's the Chicago way.)

So, if you're coming over any time soon, bring a cooler and some beer, because there's none left at my house.

Maybe when I'm not so sad about it, I'll talk about how my grill fell apart today.

The suffering I have to endure

The suffering I have to endure, originally uploaded by davidjschloss.

I'm just back from a week in Jackson, Wyoming where I was honored to have been an instructor at the Rich Clarkson Photography at the Summit workshop. I taught this last year as well, and was a student at these workshops right before I landed my gig at PDN at Tech Editor.

While I'm getting a bit sick of traveling all the time, there are certainly worse places to have to work. This view is just 1/180th of the vista from the side of the cabins where we were staying.

The flight into Jackson is miserable, it requires some convoluted aerodynamics and on this particular trip we also had the added fun of a storm cloud to pass through. Just before landing the plane has to perform a side pivot around one wing in order to turn nearly completely around, and it's just bad enough without the vertical bouncing. Upon landing our pilot came out as we disembarked and commented on the rough flight "you think that's bad? I flew tour planes in the Grand Canyon and we lost power at 200 feet". Ugh.

By contrast, my flight out of Jackson was wonderful, although the plane seemed old enough that it likely flew the first settlers into the valley. A United Express flight, the interior reminded me of photos of old russian circuses, all peeling paint and scraped storage lockers. I kept looking around for a bear on a tricycle.

As we got into our seats, the pilot came on the PA and told us that "while I've been fortunate enough to fly this route countless times, this will be my last flight on this route." He then popped out into the cabin to take a photo of the passengers, to remember it by. Seems he commutes by plane from Orlando each week and flies the commuter route back and forth. He said he was "burned out" ("not completely burned out?" one passenger quipped) and that he was going to fly east coast jet routes. Then he added that he would be flying the route a bit lower and slower than usual, to be able to take pictures out the window. That was so charmingly endearing to me, this guy who clearly loved the scenery of the route, but couldn't take the miles any more.

Toni, our silver-haired flight attendant gave a slightly more ribald version of the FAA regulations than usual. "In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure," started one of her announcements "masks will fall from the ceiling. Place them over your head and mouth, and when you've finished screaming, breath normally. If you can."

She also tossed out the following gems. "In the unlikely and I mean very unlikely event of a water landing on our flight to Denver, your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices. You are not obligated to return them."

"I'll be dimming the lights for takeoff, if you require more light, you can find them above your seat, or you can turn them off and improve the attractiveness of your seatmate."

"As all United flights are non smoking, we ask you to refrain from smoking for the rest of your life, however if you can't wait that long, please wait for the designated smoking areas at in the terminal."

Generally I find comments like this a tad unnerving, but the commuter flight at 7am from Jackson to Denver is filled with very few first time travelers and everyone got a kick out of them. Trying to fight off the mother of all hangovers from our farewell dinner (and the scant two-hour sleep I had prior to the plane adding to my buzz) I was pretty happy to have some distracting humor in a plane that looked like it might have been built by Noah and Sons.

I've got a long four days home before I fly back out to California for a few days. Yay.